Shirley's Confession Booth
by Brookness
Summary: WARNING: MASSIVE, MASSIVE SPOILERS. Like, 'you ruined the whole f*cking thing, dude', kind of spoilers. Mild  and more  Language. Please don't take offense, it's merely something out of fun. Enjoy.


DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Legend of Dragoon, or any of it's contents. I was merely inspired by the great genious' of Sony Computer Entertainment. Anyway, this is just a parody I thought up.

_Shirley's Confession Booth._

(_Dart enters confession booth, and closes the red curtain behind him, facing smiling Shirley.)_

Shirley: Dart. The real reason for you leaving Seles was to pursue The Black Monster?

Dart: No... The real reason is... Shana is a scary/psycho, bitch and I needed to GTFO...

_(Dart leaves the booth and signals for Rose to go in. Rose enters and shuts curtain behind her. Leaning against the wall, crossing her arms.)_

Shirley: Rose. Was the real reason for you attacking Neet 18 years ago, really to kill the Moon Child no matter who or what, for the sake of the world?

Rose: Partly... Mainly because I knew Shana was the Moon Child, but I wound up killing the Princess Twin instead... Damn...

(_Lavitz enters the booth, and closes curtain.)_

Shirley: Lavitz. The real reason for you following Dart on his journey was for friendship, the sake of Serdio, and the world?

Lavitz: *Bursting into tears* I WANTED DART ALL TO MYSELF! BUT THE STUPID BITCH, SHANA, KEPT SNATCHING HIM AWAY! WAAAH!

Shirley: (Discomforted.)

_(Albert enters booth and closes curtain.)_

Shirley: King Albert, you followed Dart and the others in their journey after Lavitz's passing to bring justice to him, the Kingdom of Serdio, and the world?

Albert: Well, first I thought Shana was like, really hot... But, then I heard her speak... and then I was like... eugh...

(_Haschel enters booth and closes curtain behind him.)_

Shirley: Haschel. In your heart, you knew that going on this journey with Dart and the others was fate?

Haschel: _FATE!_ I just wanted to get laid!

Shirley: (Severely discomforted.)

(_Meru enters booth and closes curtain behind her.)_

Shirley: Meru. You knew there was more to life than hiding. And you felt a great connection with the others, so you joined for greater purposes?

Meru: (Wide eyes, blank look on her face.) Dart's. Freakin. Cool.

Shirley: (Slightly worried for her life and intensely discomforted.)

_(Kongol crouches into confession booth and closes curtain with his finger, smiling kindly at Shirley.)_

Shirley: Kongol, after finally breaking free from Doel, you knew going along with these humans would somehow make up for your wrongdoings?

Kongol: Well, Kongol thought... (Half-bored look on his face.) And Kongol know Shana save Kongol. But, holy shit, Shana annnnoooyyyyying...

(_Miranda enters booth and closes curtain.)_

Shirley: Miranda. It was more than a mission you had to complete, you felt more connected to the others as you're frendship grew. And you somehow knew it was fate?

Miranda: WHO THE FUCKING FUCK DOES SHANA THINK SHE IS! "Take care of the rest of them... *cough*" Just because she's in a fucking hospital bed doesn't mean she has the right to tell me what to fucking do! Tells me what to do again, I will grab her goddamn bow and arrows and shove them SO FAR up her ass, SHE'LL HAVE TO BEND OVER, JUST TO SHOOT THEM OUT FOR THE REST OF HER PATHETIC LIFE.

Shirley: (Hiding in the corner, severely scared for her life.)

_(Shana enters booth and closes curtain behind her with a slightly sad look on her face.)_

Shirley: And finally, Shana, (Bored and irritated look on her face.) Why are you here?

Shana: _(Heard everything they just said.)_ *Whimper* _(Runs out of the booth)_

Shirley: What a baby.

_(Shana runs past everyone outside.)_

Shana: (Begins fading away down a path past trees and bushes.): EVERYONE HATES ME! WAAAAAHH!

(Rose, leaning against a tree with her normal face of expression, watching.): ...

(Dart, standing next to Rose.): ...

Kongol: See? Kongol right.

(Albert nodding his head in agreement with Kongol.): Agreed, my friend.

(Miranda, sitting up on a low tree branch, hollering in a sarcastic-kind tone.): Don't come ba-ack!

(Meru, sitting on the ground, criss-cross with her hammer, scorning in Shana's direction.): Emooo...

(Lavitz, walking past the screen with his eyes closed in comfort and index finger up in the air.): Bitch. (Leaves the screen.)

(Dart, pulling away from Rose's side, slouching to Shana's direction.): *Sigh* I'll go drag her back...

_The End_

I'm sorry to Shana-lovers, but I personally think she's the most fun to mess with out of everyone in the group. But, still, I'm not sorry for writing this. So, if you liked it, please R&R. Maybe if you want me to add in the rest of the characters in the game (Lloyd, Zieg, other dragoons, villians, psycho's.) But, I'd need some reviews before I can write the rest to know that it's worth the time being put into it, and that someone's going to read it.

Well, that's the end guys, hope you enjoyed!


End file.
